


mince pie codex

by huphilpuffs



Series: pff bingo 2018 [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Christmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 17:33:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16392131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huphilpuffs/pseuds/huphilpuffs
Summary: Dan and Phil make their mince pie codex.





	mince pie codex

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Phandom Fic Fests bingo fest, for the prompt: curtainfic.

Christmas snacks start dotting Tesco’s shelves in November.

There’s gingerbread house kits by the doors and candy canes by the check out lines and when they walk through the bakery, it’s dotted with holiday desserts. Excitement bubbles in Phil’s stomach along with a grumble of hunger.

He probably shouldn’t be grocery shopping on an empty stomach.

Well, too late now.

He reaches out and tugs at the back of Dan’s jumper.

“They have mince pies,” he whispers.

Dan turns to him, grinning. “Really, Phil? It’s not even December.”

Phil pouts. “But mince pies.”

Dan responds with an eye roll, but he still reaches out to grab a box of mince pies to drop into their buggy.

\---

“Tesco’s mince pies aren’t even that great.”

Phil chuckles, some fruity filling still sticky at the roof of his mouth. “You were just moaning over them like two minutes ago,” he says.

“Well they’re mince pies,” says Dan, “so they’re _good._ Just not the best.”

He hums, licking the sweetness from his teeth and crumbs from the tip of his finger. They’ve sunken into the sofa, blankets draped over them, hot drinks resting on the table. Phil’s mouth still tastes of tart but still sweet filling and his belly feels perfectly full.

“Which one do you think is the best?”

Dan heaves an over-dramatic sigh that has Phil biting his lip to hold back a chuckle.

“I can’t just decide _now_ ,” he says. “It’s been like a whole year since we’ve had them, and it takes a lot of careful consideration to figure out which supermarket develops the best flavour profile and crust. I take my mince pies–”

“Very seriously, I know,” says Phil.

Dan smiles. “As it should be.”

\---

They buy mince pies from Sainsbury’s next time.

Dan might be better at resisting sweets than Phil is, but neither of them are good at resisting these. Dan warms them up in the oven that night after dinner as Phil slips away to find a notebook and pen.

When he returns, Dan’s leaning against the counter.

“What’re you up to?”

Phil grins. He flips the notebook open to an empty page.

“I have an idea.”

Dan watches him as he writes across the top of the page in big block letters: _The 2017 Mince Pie Codex._

When Phil looks back up, Dan’s smiling so much his eyes crinkle.

\---

Dan comes up with the official ranking system.

It’s complex and convoluted and had Phil come up with it, he probably would have focused less on the sweet to sour ratio and just said _taste_ instead, but this way is probably more fun.

And it makes Dan happy, which Phil’s pretty sure matters even more.

That night, they rank Sainsbury's. Dan gives it an official score out of ten, some complicated average of presentation and flavour and crust consistency.

He decides that they need to buy more from Tesco, purely for accuracy’s sake.

Phil doesn’t complain.

\---

“So, what’d you think of this one?”

Today’s mince pie is Tesco’s Finest. Dan cut a tiny slice out of his to try like he’s a judge on Bake Off and now he has a pen perched over a blank piece of paper.

“Uh,” says Phil. “It was good?”

Dan rolls his eyes. “Good _how_?”

“I, uh, it was sweet, but maybe a little too sweet?” he says. “The flavour wasn’t … complex enough?”

“Good,” says Dan.

He’s smiling, the fond, amused one that Phil’s grown used to seeing when what he says doesn’t quite meet Dan’s expectations. It makes Phil’s chest go warm.

A lot about sharing this time of year with Dan does that, though.

“I think I agree,” he says. “It’s better than the ordinary Tesco’s, but maybe not quite as good as Sainsbury’s?”

“Sure,” says Phil.

Under the blanket, he presses his leg against Dan’s. They didn’t bother to wear anything other than joggers today, and it’s cozy, sharing space like this.

He should be used to it.

Some days, it doesn’t entirely feel like it is.

Dan reaches under the blanket with his right hand and squeezes Phil’s knee. “Do you even care?”

Phil grins. “Not right now.”

Dan rolls his eyes.

Phil just presses closer.

\---

Waitrose Heston is Dan’s favourite.

He moans loudly around his mouthful, eyes falling closed, and Phil tries not to laugh around his own bite.

“You’re so dramatic sometimes.”

Dan glares. “Don’t talk with your mouth full,” he says, though he still hasn’t swallowed all his mince pie.

“It’s been eight years, mate, get over it,” says Phil. He sticks out his tongue, just to watch Dan’s nose scrunch up in annoyance.

“That’s it,” says Dan. “Romance is dead.”

Phil kicks him under the breakfast bar.

“Shut up. We’re figuring out which mince pie will be our Christmas tradition. That’s romantic.”

Dan’s smile softens. He hooks his foot around Phil’s as his gaze falls away, his cheeks going a little pink. Phil forgets sometimes that things like that still make Dan go shy, like when they were back in Manchester and planning things a whole year in advance seemed too sappy to talk about out loud.

“That’s the best one yet, don’t you think?” says Phil.

“Yeah,” says Dan. “Definitely.”

\---

December always makes Christmas feel more real.

They’ve started putting decorations up around the flat, just little things like candles and plastic branches of holly. The shops play Christmas music now, the kind that Dan complains about and draws a smile to Phil’s cheeks. Some days, snowflakes fall from the sky only to melt as soon as they hit the ground.

Phil pulls on reindeer socks and a cozy jumper and bundles himself in a coat with fur around the hood.

They walk through London together. Some shops have put Christmas decorations in the windows, and Phil makes plans to come back and go shopping in them sometime.

Today, though, they slip into a little London bakery that Dan likes and order mince pies and hot chocolate.

Phil sips at his drink as he slips into the booth. Dan makes notes on his phone about where this one should go on the codex for when they go back home.

There’s still a few supermarket pies they want to try. There’s a list written in the notebook with check marks in the margins.

“This one’s good,” says Dan.

Phil smiles. Under the table, hidden away in a corner, he presses his foot against Dan’s ankle.

“It is,” he says. “We should try more from bakeries.”

“That’ll add way more work to completing the codex,” says Dan. He’s smiling, bright and content.

Phil shrugs. “Guess we’ll have to eat more mince pies.” He sighs. “Such a sacrifice.”

Dan nudges his foot under the table, giggling as he mutters a quiet: “Shut up.”

Phil just smiles and licks some of the filling off his thumb.

**Author's Note:**

> I am but a Canadian who has never actually had mince pie so I apologize for any inaccuracies. Come say hi on tumblr [@huphilpuffs](huphilpuffs.tumblr.com)!


End file.
